UNITED STATES QUAD RUGBY ASSOCIATION
April 2004
"Hey, Helmet Head, I waited an hour and a half on Friday for a bus. Heck, I could have pushed over to the Christian Academy faster than that,” said my wise-guy buddy Spokes Ableman.
“Maybe you should have. Those buses were for the players, not your personal taxi service, Spokes. Besides, it was Day 1 of loading up quads for the Louisville volunteers who had maybe 6 or 7 weeks to prepare for this whole thing.”
“Whatever,” Spokes replied dismissively.
“Spokes you’ve been getting some nasty criticism for offering too narrow of a perspective on tournaments. You’re biased, some say.”
“Oh, really. Of course I’m biased. Who’s perspective should I give here, George Will’s? I’ve told you a million times, HH, it’s about the people; they make the game. I’m not a reporter. I am a, how do you say, a humanist.”
“Oh, please,” I responded.
“What’s with your team’s play against tall guys? You see Bryan Kirkland, Brad “the Kid” Dubberly or Garrett Hickling and your “D” takes a nap and your offense gets careless. Lakeshore had one turnover against you boys, won the game, and put you into a must win against Texas.”
“Meanwhile Phoenix played the Quake next and dug a hole of their own as the Quake, with Garrett Hickling looking extremely strong, took charge and put the Heat in a must win game of their own against TNT which they then lost and looked stunned going back to the hotel on Friday.
“On Saturday, Phoenix loses a heartbreaking one-point game to the Bushwhackers, led by speedy Ian Chan, and again this year dropped into 5, 6, 7, 8 land. I didn’t see that game because you Lightning boys were in a dog fight of your own against the eventual champs, Texas, and you too lost a hard-fought game and you too failed to make the semis. Did I tell you that one of the Texas faithful said that the Stampede would run you out of the gym in that game?”
“No, but I wish you would have said something.”
“Why? You don’t listen to me, HH. Besides you don’t have a bulletin board to put it on anyway.”
Spokes continued. “So, in back to back games for both teams, you and Phoenix got it on. Did I mention that they have a tall guy?
“Oh, wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. I forgot the awards social on Friday.
“First up, (drum roll, please) this year’s Hall-of-Fame inductee is…oops, due to some miscommunication he didn’t make it to the ceremony – whoever he is, wink, wink.
“Mark Zupan was honored with a much deserved USQRA’s Athlete of the Year award.”
“And after 10 years as President, Ed Suhr stepped down – receiving a gold Rolex (Battery Park model, I think) and a plaque. Isn’t non-profit work great? The big news is we now have another Texas President in office – leading the way. Be strong, members. Be strong.
“Dennis Snook retired after years of visually challenged service.”
“Ableman, knock that off. Dennis retired as one of the top refs in the world. And I suppose you missed him working tables. He even had an 8 a.m. game.”
“Easy, HH, I’m just kidding. It’s ref humor, jeez. I know Dennis was a good ref. 8 a.m., hey? Man we really know how to treat our retirees. Actually, I’m kissing up to the refs on your behalf. In other words, I’m doing your job.”
“Thanks, Spokes, you’re a man of great something. I’m just not sure what.”
“No, I’m sure you’re not, HH.”
“Where was I? Oh, yeah, you and Phoenix. The Heat wanted to not lose by about 3 points more than you guys with Andy Cohn beating you deep time after time. It was depressing, especially when the alarm went off at 5 a.m. on Sunday morning to get up for that 7-8 game.
“Meanwhile, Lakeshore, led by Kirkland, the biggest, baddist 2.0 I’ve ever seen, was taking the Whackers to school in a 4-point win,” Spokes commented.
“I know, Spokes, Kevin Orr did maybe his best job of coaching ever this weekend. He played a lot of key D to help rest his big men for the long haul and the strategy paid off in their 7th straight trips to the finals.”
“I didn’t see much of D-II or some of those other D-I pool games, HH. So, I’ll let those who saw those games deal with that. I did come in on the same plane as Gil Garcia, though, and you know those Ruff Ryders have a perfect attitude. They’re fierce competitors that really have fun playing the game. Like you guys, HH, they had a tough weekend.”
“Overall, Jill Farmer did a wonderful job. Heck, I even had fun chasing her down the Interstate going back to the airport. That girl has a lot of positive energy. This group of volunteers was great and the sponsors – well, where would you quad-nics be without sponsors? Coloplast • Vesco Metal Craft • Eagle Sportschairs • Sportaid • Spinergy • PVA • Wheelchair Getaways.
“And we must thank the referees and classifiers for all their hard work too, Spokes.”
“Oh course, HH. Already sucking up for next season, eh?”
“Yeah, like that works.”
“HH, can I be serious for a moment?”
“That would be refreshing, Spokes”
“There are moments in sport which define something special about what that sport is all about – people-moments that tend to freeze frame a sport into a few fleeting seconds that somehow speaks volumes about all the moments that have gone before and after them. There’s “The Catch” in San Francisco. Ali going down in the Garden from a devastating Joe Frazier left hook and getting up to finish the fight strong…and many, many others.
“Such a moment took place in your game with the Texas Stampede on Saturday in pool play. The Stampede was killing the clock, second quarter, in a 15-15 game going for the last goal. The possession arrow was Hoveround’s. The Stampede isolated .5 Joel Post on the corner, and with around 10 seconds remaining, Mark Zupan drove toward the cone and Post backed up to deny the corner. Geramy Tinker, Texas’ silky fast 2.0, then drove hard to the cone to try to smash Post in for a penalty goal. Post saw it coming and took the initial huge hit from Tinker and tenaciously held his ground while Zupan and Tinker tried to bang him over the end line or into the cone. The standoff continued for what seemed like minutes when it was only seconds, and the buzzer went off as Texas failed to score. You Lightning Lads should have been able to ride that incredible, defining play to victory, but you all couldn’t ride the high.”
“This,” Spokes continued, “is why you quad-aholics play this game. This puts the lowest level functioning player on the court in a position to make physical plays – big plays against the best players in the world – plays that can make a difference in the outcome of a game or tournament. That’s why quad rugby was invented in the first place, so that all levels of function could play and play competitively. Had you boys won, it would have been gigantic, but it still stands on it’s own as to what the heart of a competitor playing this sport is all about.
“The Postman is a warrior. There are many warriors playing this game, but when those low-pointers rise up and hold their ground or make a huge, huge play, there is something special and unique about that. It really does define this game, HH. There’s not a competitor on the planet who wouldn’t understand this if he were to have witnessed Post in the corner, holding his ground, taking the heat, not giving in – no matter what.”
“Wow,” Ableman. “Where the heck did that come from?”
“The corner of the key, HH, haven’t you been listening?
“So let me ask you a quick question, why aren’t we taking a .5 on our National Team, especially since we’re taking a 2.5?” Spokes suddenly asked.
“I was informed at the AGM that there was no 3.5 on the team so we chose a team that the selection committee best felt could win the Gold medal.”
“Hmmm,” Spokes paused looking puzzled. “Hope they’re right.”
“Pass the Jim Beam and ice, HH, it’s gonna be a long hot summer.”
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